Teri hone waali Bhabhi naal meeting hai aaj!

Its time for a Man to be on the arranged marriage hot seat:

1. Do you drink/smoke?

(Oh God! I knew it. I knew she would ask this.) 

Nah I don't. Never touched it. I don't like it.

2. Do you go partying?

(Oh God! Please forgive me because I am going to lie more than once today. Not my fault. I am just being a wise man here.) 

I rarely go. Ummm once a year may be.

3. Will you be spending more time with your friends than family?

(Why do I suddenly have a feeling of déja vu? As if I have already had this conversation with my mother.)

4. Do you have plans to go abroad?

Oh yess! Bangkok it is. Oh man! I can't wait to get there with my boys. I already have it all planned. Its going to be.....

(Silence...... Oh damn! Wait... You meant abroad with you?)

5. Did you have a girlfriend? Are you in touch with your ex?

(Which one? Touch!?!?!?!?! Aahhhhhh.. Touch.... I remember that...)

6. You know things will change after marriage right? You will have to give more time at home, then kids, responsibilities, wife etc.

[Oh crap! I only imagined and had one thing (read sex) on my mind and she hasn't even listed that here]

7. What are your future plans?

Ummm well.. To have a pool in my house. Fridge stalked with beer. Play either Soccer or Cricket or Baddy thrice a week. Have my personal gym. Party with my boys every Saturday and meet them for Sunday brunch. And yeah! Bangkok trip is definitely on my list as I mentioned earlier.

(Oh wait! Damn. Was I suppose to add you and the unborn kids and then talk about my days henceforth?)

8. Are you OK with your wife working after marriage?

Oh yes, I am. I don't have any problem with it. 
(Ghar pe baithi rahegi toh aur jaan khayegi. Na khud kaam karegi na mujhe karne degi.)

9. Do you own a house/car? How much do you earn?

(Are you an income tax or a CID officer in disguise?)

10. Are you your Mamma's boy?

(Indeed I am. Why? Are you someone else's Mamma's girl?)

11. Will you love your wife more than anyone in this world?

(After receiving continuous wireless threats from Laptop, the man talks to himself, 'Haan bol de warna yeh gussa ho gai toh pure CCD mein izzat utar jayegi.)  

Yes I will. I will love her more than my life. Always.

PS: Isse kehte hai kulhadi pe apna pair (leg) de maarna.

The Disabled Mankind

Today, while waiting at the station, a blind man came walking towards the seating area and almost stumbled upon the luggage. With the help of his stick, he reached the place where I was seated. He politely asked (in the air, not knowing who he was talking to), if there was any place to sit. I guided him to the vacant seat next to me. We sat there for almost ten minutes. In those ten minutes, I couldn't help but admire the mere presence of this man - perfectly dressed in casual pant and shirt, calmness in his being, peaceful face, erect posture - and he sat staring at the open space in front of him. I wondered what he must be thinking, what he must be imagining and how difficult it would be for him to survive in this world.
Then a voice inside me whispered, 'Learn Shama. Learn to live life from him'. He was blind. He saw nothing but darkness in his presence and yet there was a light in his being. He had a strong will and desire to walk through that darkness. He was courageous and strong enough to walk past all the hurdles. Even though he stumbled upon them, he managed to hold himself strong and confident. He radiated life and a will to live that life without cribbing how difficult and unpredictable it is. This man sitting right beside me taught me what it means to have faith in life - faith in existence and faith in walking through the darkness even if there isn't any trace of light. 
Looking at him, I felt like I was the disabled person and sitting beside me was the most able human being I had ever seen.  
PS: Later, I found the same man selling peanuts and mukhwaas packets in the train. Respect.

On Love and Marriage

They say angels are a rarity. I smile at them and say, ‘Look through my eyes and you will find angels in abundance!’

One such angel spoke to me of ‘love and marriage’ today. In today’s world where institution of marriage is losing its identity, this angel opened her heart to share her understanding of marriage that brought her boundless joy in life. After being married for 43 years, this lady lost her husband to God and since then (for 13 years now), for each day, she has been living and relishing his love in her life and keeping that flame of togetherness alive. 

She tells me, ‘When I see people losing faith in the institution of marriage, I feel strange. I wonder how something that gave me the best days of my life can be miserable.’ She said, ‘I had not seen my husband before marriage and people used to make fun of me because I used to tell them I am scared thinking how will I recognize my husband on our wedding day.’ I laughed at this and asked her what marriage meant to her then. To this, she innocently replied, “I was too young to understand what marriage is! When I got married and came to my sasural, they did not have anything at home - Hardly any bartan, no maid, no running water, absolutely no luxuries whatsoever. In spite of this, I cherished my marriage then, because I had two things I learned to hold on to – love and patience. My husband was a gem of a human being who knew nothing but love and who practiced nothing but love in his life. I spent my initial days with him and I learnt the key to sustain this institution. I learnt that if two of us have clean heart, if we know how to be patient and if we believe that we can be happy even if we have nothing to eat, we can be happy together. It is not about wanting more and more in life but about relishing and enjoying how much ever you have as a couple at that very moment.” 
She continued with tears in her eyes, “Today, I miss my man so much. He died of heart attack right in front of my eyes. Just half an hour before his end, I was preparing coffee for both of us and he stood in the kitchen staring at me. I even asked him what’s wrong with him, that why is he staring at me like that! He said he just wanted to see me and held his gaze at me for almost 15 minutes. I blushed and continued to prepare my coffee, not knowing what was awaiting me the very next moment. That entire scene is so fresh in my heart even today! I did not want to leave that man even after I knew he was physically no more with me. That man did not give me a fancy lifestyle but he gave me his love, his sincerity and his faith and I cherished and nurtured that instead of complaining about what we did not have (materialistic luxuries). In return, I gave him my love and faith. I never complained even on the days when we did not have raashan at home nor did I ever demand that I be given all the luxuries that I deserve as a wife. We never based our marriage on materialistic gains and we believed that if we both are clean at heart, we can never be deprived of love in life. It’s been 13 years now and I still thank God every single minute to have given me a life partner like him. I miss him a lot. I miss him like crazy.”

I hugged her tight and with moist eyes told her how much I love her and the man of her life. She held my face and said, “Beta, Marriage is never bad. Its two people who hold on to their egos and who are never satisfied with anything in life that makes it worse. If you know to love, if you keep your heart clean and if you learn the importance of practicing patience and grace, you can make any relationship sustain even after the person is physically no more.”

For the half an hour that we spoke, I knew we were not alone. He was right there. Listening to us and silently smiling at the love of his life, still admiring her with the same love and warmth in his heart. Today, I felt the presence of my Grandfather after 13 long years and it is today that I missed him more than my grandmother did and it is today that I prayed and wished for every wife to be like my Grandmother and every husband to be like my Grandfather. May be then, we all can reaffirm our faith on this wonderful institution and start exchanging loving energies all over again.

Are you ready for an arranged marriage?

10 common questions asked when you meet someone for an arranged marriage (female perspective):

1. How old are you?
(Biologically I am younger than you but mentally I seem much older than you, considering that I have a common sense to get basic background information before meeting someone)

2. Do you believe marriages are made in heaven?
(My Dear God’s Child! Isn’t everything made in heaven?)

3. Do you like kids?
(Of course I do! Liking them and having them are two different things!)

4. Do you know how to cook?
(Would it really change your intention of marrying if the answer is No?)

5. Are you a religious person?
(I think I am a person. Isn’t that sufficient?)

6. How career oriented are you?
(What is the unit to measure career orientation?)

7. Would you like to work after marriage?
(Aahh! You can tell the kamwali bai that she has got a replacement coming soon!)
(Are you planning to remove the kamwali bai if I say no? I would prefer to work outside in that case)

8. What is your education qualification?
(Is this a job interview or a marriage interview?)

9. What does marriage mean to you?
(It means no more dating, no more flings, no night outs, stuck with one man for the whole life. And wait. There’s a child, in-laws, more cooking, more house work. Phew! It means I am doomed for life. Do you still wish to ask another question or do I consider myself ‘Rejected’?)

10. Are you on Facebook? Let me add you.
(Now it’s my turn to say ‘Rejected’)

Save your soul

We all act delusional in love when we wither our life, piece by piece, to adorn someone else' s world. Oh my fellow humans! Save your soul, save your heart. It is indeed precious. Do not let your soul , your heart, your existence deflate in the name of love.

A Happy U-niverse

I believe that as human beings we all constantly exchange energies with people around. The kind of energy we inhale and especially exhale in this Universe affects not only us but every individual surviving on this planet. 
Every time I put a news channel or read a Newspaper, I come across endless miseries being talked about and spread around in the form of NEWS related to accidents, rape, death, riots, robberies, sexual/physical abuse and so on. This negative energy further gets doubled by people who become obsessed with feeding their 'fears' by hearing, memorizing and sharing the unpleasant incidents taking place in this World. They not only bury themselves in this dismay but also drag other people in the ever-growing pit of Fear. While everyone unconsciously starts drowning in this negative abyss, very few humans take charge of balancing this negative energy with the positive one. Becoming obsessed with the unpleasant news by ranting, complaining and wondering 'where the World is going!' is just a way of increasing the misery around. I believe that instead of brooding over this negative energy which is 99% of the time not in our hands, it is sensible to focus on things that are in our control. 
When I noticed this fearful energy being spread around like a wild fire, this is what I began to practice - I began to ask myself a question everyday (especially on the days when I heard unpleasant news) "What is it that I am contributing in this Universe today that can make this World a better place to live in?" It could be as simple as making a stranger smile and spreading love & care in whatever form possible. Earlier when I used to look at beggars or the needy and couldn't offer them any help, I used to feel disheartened and grieve over injustice in this World. Now, after practicing the 'exchange of positive energy' phenomena, each time I encounter them, I smile at them and pray in my heart for their well-being and happiness. The feeling of misery I used to feel earlier automatically got transformed into the feeling of gratitude and universal well-being. This is how I managed to shift my focus from increasing negative energy and fear to creating and expanding the positive energy in this Universe. I promised myself to fill this Universe with something positive every single day. 
If you are really worried about the World becoming a difficult and unsafe place to dwell, ask yourself "what can you do to make this Universe a happy and a safe place?" 
'U' are capable of exhaling the positive energy and making a positive difference in the lives of many fellow human beings. All you've got to do is 'Begin' to fill this planet with positive energy that is inhabited within. The energy that you exhale is the same energy that you will inhale - If you exhale misery, you will inhale misery and if you exhale joyfulness, you will inhale happiness :)

The Materialistic Race

He continues to run…

Run fiercely towards something he doesn’t know.
Run away from somebody he thinks he knows.
Run intensely for things that he desires.
Run for a passion. Run for an obsession. Run for devotion. 
He continues to run for every desirable thing in the most undesirable way.
He runs to never feel tired. He runs to never feel parched. 
Body and mind running in one direction and the soul striding in just the opposite one!
He runs because he knows that if he stops, he may have to encounter LIFE. 
So… 
Stranded on the same life-point, he continues to run faster and harder than he ever did.
Knowingly running towards the unknown.
The emptiness remains but the race continues.

And the man continues to run……..

You And Us

It’s a weird struggle between my mind and heart
I am often torn apart in this battle…
While I know my heart is the truest, I often feel myself trapped in my mind’s maze…
Oh Lord! Help me. 
Help me read your signs…
Help me learn what I am ought to learn…
Make me walk the path that I am destined to walk…
Give me strength to become aware of that path…
It it’s you, help me embrace the whole of YOU…
If it’s me, help me embrace the whole of US…

The Inescapable Trap!

I have the ability of connecting with my chaotic self! Its a threshold where I meet MYSELF and we both get lost in the world of thoughts and dreams. For them (people), I am crazy. But for me, I am just an ordinary human trapped in an extraordinary mind.

The imperfectly perfect YOU!

Sometimes, it's OK to feel broken.. It's OK to feel weak.. Its OK to feel like you are losing all your strength while fighting it out! You are allowed to take a break.. you are allowed to fall and when you fall on the ground, it does not mean you cannot get back up.. It may take time for you to gain that strength but you will get back up. Embrace that chaotic weak 'self'. It is all a part of the 'Gorgeous, Sexy, Strong, Beautiful and Divine YOU' 

https://www.facebook.com/sorelleart

The countless efforts to run away!

I walked far away from this world to find solace.. I reached a point where it was just me with my soul.. The further I went, the more distant I felt.. Nature tried to fill me up and yet I continued to feel empty.. May be I was too busy to admire it and let it heal me.. May be I should have focused more on being closer to myself than walking away from this lunatic world!

Someone Like You!

Sometimes you meet a person and you establish an instant connect with them. It’s not just physical attraction but, something more profound which your mind fails to comprehend! You feel an innate urge to know more about that person and at the same time you sense a feeling that you already know this person inside out. It’s as if it was destined for you to meet this person for reasons unknown to your conscious mind. U feel safe. You feel loved. You feel content in their company. Having a conversation with them is like conversing with a deeper aspect of your own self. No past shared, no future promised... And yet it feels complete… Right here, at this very moment, you feel perfect, you breathe oneness! And at that instant, everything else ceases. It’s rare. It’s pure. It’s undefinable and yet it’s real! It’s today… It’s just today...
Someone like me met someone like you!  

Its My Father's Day!

Dear Daddy,
You and Mom are the reason I am breathing today! You guys brought me in this world and right from my first day till now, you have been like a protective & loving shield around me. All through these years, there may have been times where I may have betrayed your trust, may have let you down, may not have been the best daughter you would have imagined (or wanted) me to be... For all these times I failed to bring you happiness, I continue to feel sorry and miserable! You and Mom deserve happiness every single second of your life and each time I think I may have been the reason for your unhappiness, I fail to forgive myself for it. I take this day as a chance to say Sorry for all those times I messed up… Thank you for loving me throughout and accepting the best and the worst of me! 
Its today that I wish to apologize to you Dad for every wrong step I took, for every wrong decision I made and for everything else that I could have done right instead! Today, I wish to convey that even if I fail to be the best daughter to you and Mom, I will continue to be a daughter who owes her life to both of you and who has only ‘love & care’ to offer you in return! I may not have expressed my love for you often but it’s a kind of love that I have always felt within and will always continue to feel (even if I don’t share or express it time and again).
Thank you Dad for walking patiently by my side... Thank you for always letting me live my dreams and thank you for bringing out the best in me :-)
Its not just today Dad, but every day I wish and pray for your wellness, for your good health, for prosperity & success and for happiest days to add to your lives! Wish you the most healthiest, happiest and a blessed 55th Birthday Dad :-)
I love you always :-* 

The Lunatic Mind!

Is it you or is it gonna be someone else?
I do not know....
Will I ever get to touch you and hold you in my arms for a lifetime? 
I do not know....
Will I get to taste those lips and lock them with mine forever? 
I do not know....
Will I fall asleep in your arms and always have you smiling beside me when I wake up?
I do not know....
Will I ever be loved by you and become the only woman you cherish?
I do not know....
Do you have the same feelings for me as I do for you?
I do not know....
Are you the one where my search for a trusting life partner ends?
I do not know....
And yet my schizoid mind continues to search for certainty in the most uncertain situations. 
Oh my lunatic mind!!

Pehla Dusra Teesra Saccha Pyaar!

It’s interesting to see how love has so many facets! 
When we are children, our love is mostly limited to parents, school friends, school girl friends, best buddies. When we enter high school, we experience love in the form of crushes and BFFs. It is this phase of life where we recognize that one person without whom we claim we cannot live! Thoughts like “I am going to marry this person” ("Agar koi teri bhabhi banegi bhai toh bas yehi banegi!"), “I will die if I don't get him/her” etc occupy our brains more than algebra geometry ever did! 

It is mostly during our late teens when the heartbreak's hit us hard (the word depressed, depression etc is often used during this time!) We shed bucket full of tears if we discover that the one we truly love loves someone else. (ok I agree, girls are more capable of doing this). This bucket begins to overflow when we find out that our gf/bf cheated over us or left us stranded and helpless. We vow right then not to fall in love ever again (some once-upon-a-time-doleful-lovers even vow to not get married ever to another person!)

As time goes by and we enter adulthood, things begin to change on the romance front. Somehow someone manages to break the self-made ‘No Entry’ zone and we, once again, find ourselves being drown in love. So, to justify that this is true love, we label the old one as a ‘Crush’. This phase sometimes has more than one ‘true love’ – True Love 1, True Love 2, True Love 3… (and the list goes on!) 

It is a wonderful feeling to be in True Love 1. To receive and give that support, warmth, special care to special someone, the gifts, the SMSes, missed calls, night calls, dates, best kisses, make out sessions, fights, serious fights, temporary breakups, back together, stable for a while, break up again, final break up 1, final break up 2, full n final breakup, avoid calls, less night calls, sms pack deactivated, sad, hurt, tears, abuses, regrets, and The END of True Love 1…. Some couples manage to pull this relationship longer and enter the next level commonly known as 'marriage'. The others however, enter True Love 2 and that’s when they feel that this is actual true love and the previous one was just an 'Infatuation'. This cycle usually continues till we get hooked up with one Man/Woman we manage to tie a marital knot with. After marriage, who knows the hunt for True Love may continue till we become teeth-less, hairless, brainless, hormonal-less!

What amazes me is the eagerness and rush we all make to find that so called true love that we miss out on treasuring the blissful feeling that we experience or have experienced with our loved ones (I wonder how many even know the exact definition of it). The first love which is now labeled as 'crush' suddenly takes a back seat with a thought that he wasn't the right person and I made a mistake getting close and blah blah blah. Instead! What if that person is regarded as the right person for that particular time (After all, it did seem right and perfect then!). And the feeling that was felt then can still be labeled as 'love'. 

Its love every time you like a person or every time you feel that special bond and undefined happiness. Love has always been around and will always be around. Yet, we negate it when we feel it in people (crushes and infatuations) saying 'it wasn't love.'  
Step aside from this rush and treasure the times you felt loved or loved someone to an extent that it brought you happiness. Love isn't limited to a person nor is it found only in people. The more you continue to keep yourself open to receive love around, the more you may understand why this feeling cannot be labeled, defined or limited. Love is within you, around you and dwells in every minute creation in this Universe. As rightly said by my love guru Rumi, 
“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” 

Cherish the experience more than the person and you will never fall out of love even if the person is gone miles away from you:-)

PS: “Is love painful???” I shall be discussing in my next blogpost ;-)