Teri hone waali Bhabhi naal meeting hai aaj!

Its time for a Man to be on the arranged marriage hot seat:

1. Do you drink/smoke?

(Oh God! I knew it. I knew she would ask this.) 

Nah I don't. Never touched it. I don't like it.

2. Do you go partying?

(Oh God! Please forgive me because I am going to lie more than once today. Not my fault. I am just being a wise man here.) 

I rarely go. Ummm once a year may be.

3. Will you be spending more time with your friends than family?

(Why do I suddenly have a feeling of déja vu? As if I have already had this conversation with my mother.)

4. Do you have plans to go abroad?

Oh yess! Bangkok it is. Oh man! I can't wait to get there with my boys. I already have it all planned. Its going to be.....

(Silence...... Oh damn! Wait... You meant abroad with you?)

5. Did you have a girlfriend? Are you in touch with your ex?

(Which one? Touch!?!?!?!?! Aahhhhhh.. Touch.... I remember that...)

6. You know things will change after marriage right? You will have to give more time at home, then kids, responsibilities, wife etc.

[Oh crap! I only imagined and had one thing (read sex) on my mind and she hasn't even listed that here]

7. What are your future plans?

Ummm well.. To have a pool in my house. Fridge stalked with beer. Play either Soccer or Cricket or Baddy thrice a week. Have my personal gym. Party with my boys every Saturday and meet them for Sunday brunch. And yeah! Bangkok trip is definitely on my list as I mentioned earlier.

(Oh wait! Damn. Was I suppose to add you and the unborn kids and then talk about my days henceforth?)

8. Are you OK with your wife working after marriage?

Oh yes, I am. I don't have any problem with it. 
(Ghar pe baithi rahegi toh aur jaan khayegi. Na khud kaam karegi na mujhe karne degi.)

9. Do you own a house/car? How much do you earn?

(Are you an income tax or a CID officer in disguise?)

10. Are you your Mamma's boy?

(Indeed I am. Why? Are you someone else's Mamma's girl?)

11. Will you love your wife more than anyone in this world?

(After receiving continuous wireless threats from Laptop, the man talks to himself, 'Haan bol de warna yeh gussa ho gai toh pure CCD mein izzat utar jayegi.)  

Yes I will. I will love her more than my life. Always.

PS: Isse kehte hai kulhadi pe apna pair (leg) de maarna.

The Disabled Mankind

Today, while waiting at the station, a blind man came walking towards the seating area and almost stumbled upon the luggage. With the help of his stick, he reached the place where I was seated. He politely asked (in the air, not knowing who he was talking to), if there was any place to sit. I guided him to the vacant seat next to me. We sat there for almost ten minutes. In those ten minutes, I couldn't help but admire the mere presence of this man - perfectly dressed in casual pant and shirt, calmness in his being, peaceful face, erect posture - and he sat staring at the open space in front of him. I wondered what he must be thinking, what he must be imagining and how difficult it would be for him to survive in this world.
Then a voice inside me whispered, 'Learn Shama. Learn to live life from him'. He was blind. He saw nothing but darkness in his presence and yet there was a light in his being. He had a strong will and desire to walk through that darkness. He was courageous and strong enough to walk past all the hurdles. Even though he stumbled upon them, he managed to hold himself strong and confident. He radiated life and a will to live that life without cribbing how difficult and unpredictable it is. This man sitting right beside me taught me what it means to have faith in life - faith in existence and faith in walking through the darkness even if there isn't any trace of light. 
Looking at him, I felt like I was the disabled person and sitting beside me was the most able human being I had ever seen.  
PS: Later, I found the same man selling peanuts and mukhwaas packets in the train. Respect.

On Love and Marriage

They say angels are a rarity. I smile at them and say, ‘Look through my eyes and you will find angels in abundance!’

One such angel spoke to me of ‘love and marriage’ today. In today’s world where institution of marriage is losing its identity, this angel opened her heart to share her understanding of marriage that brought her boundless joy in life. After being married for 43 years, this lady lost her husband to God and since then (for 13 years now), for each day, she has been living and relishing his love in her life and keeping that flame of togetherness alive. 

She tells me, ‘When I see people losing faith in the institution of marriage, I feel strange. I wonder how something that gave me the best days of my life can be miserable.’ She said, ‘I had not seen my husband before marriage and people used to make fun of me because I used to tell them I am scared thinking how will I recognize my husband on our wedding day.’ I laughed at this and asked her what marriage meant to her then. To this, she innocently replied, “I was too young to understand what marriage is! When I got married and came to my sasural, they did not have anything at home - Hardly any bartan, no maid, no running water, absolutely no luxuries whatsoever. In spite of this, I cherished my marriage then, because I had two things I learned to hold on to – love and patience. My husband was a gem of a human being who knew nothing but love and who practiced nothing but love in his life. I spent my initial days with him and I learnt the key to sustain this institution. I learnt that if two of us have clean heart, if we know how to be patient and if we believe that we can be happy even if we have nothing to eat, we can be happy together. It is not about wanting more and more in life but about relishing and enjoying how much ever you have as a couple at that very moment.” 
She continued with tears in her eyes, “Today, I miss my man so much. He died of heart attack right in front of my eyes. Just half an hour before his end, I was preparing coffee for both of us and he stood in the kitchen staring at me. I even asked him what’s wrong with him, that why is he staring at me like that! He said he just wanted to see me and held his gaze at me for almost 15 minutes. I blushed and continued to prepare my coffee, not knowing what was awaiting me the very next moment. That entire scene is so fresh in my heart even today! I did not want to leave that man even after I knew he was physically no more with me. That man did not give me a fancy lifestyle but he gave me his love, his sincerity and his faith and I cherished and nurtured that instead of complaining about what we did not have (materialistic luxuries). In return, I gave him my love and faith. I never complained even on the days when we did not have raashan at home nor did I ever demand that I be given all the luxuries that I deserve as a wife. We never based our marriage on materialistic gains and we believed that if we both are clean at heart, we can never be deprived of love in life. It’s been 13 years now and I still thank God every single minute to have given me a life partner like him. I miss him a lot. I miss him like crazy.”

I hugged her tight and with moist eyes told her how much I love her and the man of her life. She held my face and said, “Beta, Marriage is never bad. Its two people who hold on to their egos and who are never satisfied with anything in life that makes it worse. If you know to love, if you keep your heart clean and if you learn the importance of practicing patience and grace, you can make any relationship sustain even after the person is physically no more.”

For the half an hour that we spoke, I knew we were not alone. He was right there. Listening to us and silently smiling at the love of his life, still admiring her with the same love and warmth in his heart. Today, I felt the presence of my Grandfather after 13 long years and it is today that I missed him more than my grandmother did and it is today that I prayed and wished for every wife to be like my Grandmother and every husband to be like my Grandfather. May be then, we all can reaffirm our faith on this wonderful institution and start exchanging loving energies all over again.

Are you ready for an arranged marriage?

10 common questions asked when you meet someone for an arranged marriage (female perspective):

1. How old are you?
(Biologically I am younger than you but mentally I seem much older than you, considering that I have a common sense to get basic background information before meeting someone)

2. Do you believe marriages are made in heaven?
(My Dear God’s Child! Isn’t everything made in heaven?)

3. Do you like kids?
(Of course I do! Liking them and having them are two different things!)

4. Do you know how to cook?
(Would it really change your intention of marrying if the answer is No?)

5. Are you a religious person?
(I think I am a person. Isn’t that sufficient?)

6. How career oriented are you?
(What is the unit to measure career orientation?)

7. Would you like to work after marriage?
(Aahh! You can tell the kamwali bai that she has got a replacement coming soon!)
(Are you planning to remove the kamwali bai if I say no? I would prefer to work outside in that case)

8. What is your education qualification?
(Is this a job interview or a marriage interview?)

9. What does marriage mean to you?
(It means no more dating, no more flings, no night outs, stuck with one man for the whole life. And wait. There’s a child, in-laws, more cooking, more house work. Phew! It means I am doomed for life. Do you still wish to ask another question or do I consider myself ‘Rejected’?)

10. Are you on Facebook? Let me add you.
(Now it’s my turn to say ‘Rejected’)

Save your soul

We all act delusional in love when we wither our life, piece by piece, to adorn someone else' s world. Oh my fellow humans! Save your soul, save your heart. It is indeed precious. Do not let your soul , your heart, your existence deflate in the name of love.