My dear fellow lover!

At some point, in life, we all feel the need of having a companion. We all feel the need of being pampered, being loved, being cared for, and being somebody's special someone.
This leads to frustration when you observe that your need is not being fulfilled and everyone around you are finding their companions left, right and center! Its crazy how this whole act makes you question your Self, your worth and your existence. Its crazier when you know you are a hopeless romantic, capable of loving someone with all your heart & Being and yet the Universe decides to continue playing with your patience.
Its tough. Its painful. I know that craving. I know that helplessness and hopelessness. I know that feeling when all your friends are busy with their lovers and you curl up in your own heart and mind wondering, what are you doing to not deserve this love, to not become an important part of someone's life! These are the times when you make things worse for yourself by stalking your Ex's profile, calling and/or messaging them, and if your Ex(s) is married or doesn't love you anymore, God save you from your own frustration!
This is the phase where no one else will understand what you are going through. Try sharing this with anyone and you will have a long list of advice/suggestions on how you should focus on your career, be bold, be independent, divert your mind and how you are blessed because you don't have the headache (read lover) which they have!
I know how crazy and chaotic that feels! I know how much that hurts. I wish I had something more significant to tell you. But for now, I just know that whatever you are feeling is natural. Its real. And even if you want to, you cannot escape this. For now, I can just hug you and say nothing. I would also like to believe that your companion exists. I have no idea why/what the Universe is up to! I wish I knew better. But for now, all I hope and pray is that we sail through this phase. That we get strength and wisdom to understand, to cherish love and companionship. I pray that someday, You & I, we both meet our lovers and experience the joy of togetherness. I hope that some day, we find what our hearts & souls have been looking for!
Oh my crazy fellow lover,
Someday, we will encounter this love, the lover and the togetherness. Till then, I wish you peace - peace in that crazy chaotic heart & in your Being.

Love,
Shama:)

Hide & Seek with Love

Once again I find myself closer to you.
Once again I sense your Being in my space, lazying in love.
Who are you? Where are you?
Sometimes I long for these answers
and sometimes, I find myself relishing the loving space of nothingness.
I often find us making love in the realms which are beyond time & space
Because its there that we exist as energies of love and divinity.
I don't know what is the journey forward for You & I
What I do know is that our togetherness is planned by love itself.
It is in this knowing that sometimes I find you deep within my heart
and it is in this knowing that sometimes I lose you, only to walk the journey of finding our Beings.

Beloved Human

Oh beloved Human,
What is it that you want?

The doing bothers you and the non-doing upsets you.
You cling to fear and wish for love to cling on to you.
You deny your grandeur but become determined to find the greatness outside of you.
The things that you have, which once upon a time was your need,
Now becomes ignorant and consumed by the desire of things that you wish you had! 
What do you want my love?

The joy of laughter,
The rush of rains,
The warmth of sun,
The sound of heartbeat,
The rhythm of your breath,
I am right here.
Yet, you deny my existence here and 
Look for me within four walls, on specific days. 
What do you want my love?

When you run, you wish to stop.
When you stop, you wish you were running a bit faster.
When you find a lover, you make him/her suffer.
When you don’t find a lover, you suffer.
What do you want my love?

My Love,
Do you realize that, you want everything else but your precious unique Self (Life)?

~ Facet of my Being ~

That feeling! That familiar feeling that either you are letting everything go or everything is going away from you! That feeling of you doing everything to make things right and yet things turning just the way u never wanted them too! That feeling! I have known that feeling and I am sure you know it too. We both have traveled far with this feeling! You and I! We both have seen felt it, fought it, survived through it, only to fall back on it at some point. I know that frustration and I know you have felt it too.

That feeling which leads us to question the Universe, life and the Self! 

And in that desperation and hopelessness, we struggle to find a steady ground. It's that moment when we break - break so hard that it becomes exhaustive to survive this phase. And it's that moment when we become so weak and vulnerable that we doubt we were ever a strong soul. Many a times in this desperation, I have found my being vulnerable and wounded. Many a times in this hopelessness, I have nursed this fragile being. Many a times in this emotional and mental exhaustion, I have sat beside this broken self with tears in my eyes, trying to gather and fix the broken pieces of my Being. Many a times, in this vulnerable phase, I have been a companion to my Being. And it is then that I understand how I am the only one and only Me who can nurse my being. It is only me who gets to have such a close look at the vulnerable side of my being. It is only me who can see the depth of my weakness. Perhaps that's this strength that I was ought to discover through vulnerability!

After all, both in vulnerability and strength, the Me in it remains the same.The Me that's always connected to this vast Universe! Even in this vulnerability, the good part is, I learn to lose myself in my own Being!

It is OK to feel lost and exhausted!:)

In life, we all reach a point where we give up! We lose interest in ourselves and our life and we feel this is it! This is the end and we don’t see any way out from such situations. By now, we have tried everything and we’ve reached a point of exhaustion. We feel so drained that giving another try seems impossible. Almost all of us experience this point of exhaustion and uncertainty. We feel we aren’t doing enough or being enough and we just don’t understand the meaning of our existence. It is at this point that we get an opportunity to pause – to pause and ask ourselves “what am I here for?” There’s no hurry to look for an answer but it is important that we ask. The fact that we are living this moment right now means that the Universe wants us. ‘How’ and ‘Why’ is on us to figure out (that’s why we have this life I suppose!) The fact that we are born means there must be some reason, some purpose to our existence even if we don’t know what it is! There’s always a purpose for each one of us. And the times when we don’t know what that is, I remind myself that I don’t know what it is but the Universe does! And I start asking that force what is the purpose of my existence.

Do I get an answer? Most of the times, no. But I do experience that the moment I begin this conversation, I start making peace with that exhaustion. I begin a process of embracing life in some form and for that moment, this acceptance becomes my purpose. The purpose is not always about finding what you are here for! The purpose is sometimes all about reminding yourself that you are alive. Alive and breathing! I know the mind says its not enough but know that Life says it is enough for this moment!

The times you feel you don’t have a reason to live or a purpose to fulfill, it is OK to remind yourself that ‘You are alive!’ YOU ARE ALIVE. Accept this truth that you are alive. And while you do this, gratefully extend a helping hand. Let the Universe know you need help. When you do this, the Universe begins to assist you in this process of making peace with the exhaustion. It does! Open your heart and soul to receive help. The Universe is always willing to help. Its we who prefer to hold hands with exhaustion instead! So while you continue to hold hands with the bitter part of life, allow the other hand to extend and the Universe will hold it to show you the not-so-bitter part of life :)

Remember, as the great philosopher Ram Dass said “We are all just walking each other home”. So, know that while there are times when you are extending the hand for help, there are times when the Universe is using your hand to hold someone else’s extended hand! :)
Even in this exhaustion, you continue to be a miracle just because you are alive - Alive and Breathing!:)

Love 
Shama