Teri hone waali Bhabhi naal meeting hai aaj!

Its time for a Man to be on the arranged marriage hot seat:

1. Do you drink/smoke?

(Oh God! I knew it. I knew she would ask this.) 

Nah I don't. Never touched it. I don't like it.

2. Do you go partying?

(Oh God! Please forgive me because I am going to lie more than once today. Not my fault. I am just being a wise man here.) 

I rarely go. Ummm once a year may be.

3. Will you be spending more time with your friends than family?

(Why do I suddenly have a feeling of déja vu? As if I have already had this conversation with my mother.)

4. Do you have plans to go abroad?

Oh yess! Bangkok it is. Oh man! I can't wait to get there with my boys. I already have it all planned. Its going to be.....

(Silence...... Oh damn! Wait... You meant abroad with you?)

5. Did you have a girlfriend? Are you in touch with your ex?

(Which one? Touch!?!?!?!?! Aahhhhhh.. Touch.... I remember that...)

6. You know things will change after marriage right? You will have to give more time at home, then kids, responsibilities, wife etc.

[Oh crap! I only imagined and had one thing (read sex) on my mind and she hasn't even listed that here]

7. What are your future plans?

Ummm well.. To have a pool in my house. Fridge stalked with beer. Play either Soccer or Cricket or Baddy thrice a week. Have my personal gym. Party with my boys every Saturday and meet them for Sunday brunch. And yeah! Bangkok trip is definitely on my list as I mentioned earlier.

(Oh wait! Damn. Was I suppose to add you and the unborn kids and then talk about my days henceforth?)

8. Are you OK with your wife working after marriage?

Oh yes, I am. I don't have any problem with it. 
(Ghar pe baithi rahegi toh aur jaan khayegi. Na khud kaam karegi na mujhe karne degi.)

9. Do you own a house/car? How much do you earn?

(Are you an income tax or a CID officer in disguise?)

10. Are you your Mamma's boy?

(Indeed I am. Why? Are you someone else's Mamma's girl?)

11. Will you love your wife more than anyone in this world?

(After receiving continuous wireless threats from Laptop, the man talks to himself, 'Haan bol de warna yeh gussa ho gai toh pure CCD mein izzat utar jayegi.)  

Yes I will. I will love her more than my life. Always.

PS: Isse kehte hai kulhadi pe apna pair (leg) de maarna.